here you will find me

Mon, 22 Oct 2007 23:54:35 GMT

CLOSED!

new profile!

byezoomniyi

Fri, 31 Aug 2007 18:18:57 GMT

Soundtrack to My Life:
(Yes, I am doing one. Because I can.)

Rules: Open iTunes and put on shuffle. Each song that comes on is the song for the appropriate moment below. Don't cheat!

Opening Credits:
Ghosts of You and Me - Soulsavers

First Day of School:
Worlock - Skinny Puppy

Falling in Love:
Body Language - Queen

Breaking Up:
Fix Up, Look Sharp - Dizzee Rascal

Prom:
Get Stoned - Hinder

Sex Scene:
Galvanize - Chemical Brothers

Life's OK:
Satin in a Coffin - Modest Mouse

Mental Breakdown:
Sheena is a Parasite - The Horrors

Driving:
Drunk Girl - Something Corporate

Flashback:
Bicycle Race - Queen

Getting Back Together:
Your Ex-Lover is Dead - Stars

Birth of Child:
Between the Rent and Me - Snowden

Wedding Scene:
With a Little Help From My Friends - The Beatles

Final Battle:
I Am the Law - Anthrax

Death Scene:
Kiss Me I'm Comtagious - From First to Last

Funeral Scene:
Hello Operator - The White Stripes

End Credits:
Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Division

Ugh. I'm sick at home. Something the doctor gave me for my treatment disagreed with me and now my stomach feels like it's in a mixer. >_< Blargh.

Mon, 20 Aug 2007 15:49:09 GMT

Eh, dance didn't suck as much as I thought it would, thankfully.

^_^ Life is better. Except I have a date with Rickie, human octopus.

Thu, 02 Aug 2007 00:35:47 GMT

>.<

My hair caught on fire. Only in the front. It doesn't show. But MY HAIR SMELLS LIKE SOMETHING THAT CRAWLED INTO A HOLE AND DIED. Eeeeeeew.

Rawr.

Fri, 27 Jul 2007 07:12:30 GMT

Life SUCKS.

At the theater arts school I will be attending when school begins again this year, I have to wear:

-a black leo- or unitard

-tights

-and black form-fitting sweats

None of which I look even remotely good in. Except, I wear tights a lot anyway, so no biggie. But the others! And I will have to learn to dance. Well, that is. Jazz, tap, even ballet. *pointless flailing* I AM ABSOLUTELY SUCK AT DANCING. Dancing to me is the arts equivalent of algebra. I have to learn it along with the other stuff, but I am so not good at it, it's not even funny. And I don't know HOW I will learn ballet. I'm too bony and awkward and my body does not bend well...

At least all the stuff has to be black. This, at least, I can handle. And they don't say I have to strip the color from my hair or unspike it or anything, which is a plus. But my hair has to be off my face. Ugh.

'Nother p. attack yesterday. Life just gets better and better.

Mon, 16 Jul 2007 03:58:58 GMT

It's been three months! I'm so sorry! The summer's just been waaaaay too cluttered with vacations and camp (nerd camp. it was fun times six hundred.) and everything. I've been reading over some of my older Batman/Joker fics and some of them really suck but one! One is really quite excellent. I'm debating on whether or not to post it here.

Okay: Harry Potter number five. The spoilers begin here.

There was not enough Draco, even though he will be a pivotal character in the next movie, with the whole dead Dumbledore thing and Narcissa, Bellatrix, Snape, and Co.

And they totally cut out the part with Ron and quidditch (there wasn't ANY quidditch in this one!) and the whole 'Weasley is our kiiiiiing!' thing. Which my father and I both adored. We were very sad when it got cut out of the movie.

Another thing: this movie was the MOST EMO of any of them. There was angry!Harry and confused!Ron and Hermione, tragic!Grawp (heh), pissy and somewhat angsty!Snape, and rebel!Dumbledore.

Bellatrix Lestrange only had about ten minutes in the film despite all the hype I heard about Helena Bonham Carter.

Aside from that, I thought that HP # 5 was pretty good compared to some of the other movies in theaters at the moment. In fact, I rather liked it. The roles of Tonks and Luna and yes, I'll admit it, Bellatrix, were cast very well, and though I've had my doubts before about him, I think Gary Oldman as Sirius Black was excellent in the film. And kind of hot. Disturbingly hot... Eurgh.

Young Snape! Oh the pity! I saw the movie with my friend, who has not read the books, and she was freaked out and got kind of angry at James Potter for acting like a total jackarse. As was I.

Two characters who had not played a larger role up 'till now: Lucius Malfoy and Neville Longbottom. Of course, the whole Neville being the other possible vindicator of the wizarding world thing was cut out. But they both will have more significance in the next movie, so. David Yates is excused. Sexy sexy Lucius anyway.

I think I might be a little sugar high right now. Oh dear.

In other news: I now own both Diary and Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk. And Alexander, that sexy, slashy movie. I'm going to get Troy, I vow it. Because Paris/Achilles = sweet, sweet love.

Mon, 09 Apr 2007 00:45:17 GMT

Lord, it has been a while. Been too busy with my way-too-long (it just hit 80 pages *gags*) screenplay, school, etc.

By the way, happy Easter (if you celebrate that shit anyway) if not just for the sake of getting time off. I haven't been on here in so long and now I have a long while until I go back to school aka Hellish Prison of Crackling Doom.

Thankfully, nothing big has happened since I last wrote. Erm, let's see... I made a skirt (four layers of madness)... fixed my computer... managed to pretty much fail maths because of one horrendous bad grade on a test... made panini... turned in application for summer camp in Nachitoches... and so on and so forth.

BTW, panini is a lovely sandwich bread where the ham and cheese is baked inside the bread, the summer camp is ADVANCE camp where you take a college course for three weeks for fun (I'm taking Classical Mythology because I adore it; last year I took Psychology) and I probably won't be able to write while I'm at the camp. Oh well. It's not like anyone really reads this anyway. Sometimes I think I'm just writing for me.

Maybe when I'm old (i.e. 35+) I'll look back on this and sigh and think, oh what a crackhead I was back in those golden years.

Hi, future self!

Sat, 17 Feb 2007 22:43:15 GMT

Lord! I am so fucking hung over it is not even funny. My head feels like it's going to do the splits through my stomach and then... yeah, I'll die. It's alright, though: I'm kind of like the hangover expert... I've had so many hangovers, I know just what to do. As of this moment, I'm eating raspberries and watching Jesus Christ Superstar for the fourth time this week and let me say, I'm feeling much better.

Speaking of JCS... Jesus/Judas has become one of my new OTPs. Of course, I shouldn't say 'has become' because the moment I saw that fucking film, my heart did a loop-de-loop and the slash sirens in my head went off, sort of like it did when I first saw Mikey and Gerard. Heh. Blasphemy is so delicious! (It tastes like vanilla ice cream. Don't ask.) I had to special-order the 2000 version from Borders because they, being kinda sucky, didn't have it. But it was totally worth it and now....VIVA LA HERETIC SLASH!

Anyway, I just got back from a vacation of sorts. We went to NY for a few days to celebrate my "non-cancerousness". 'Twas fun- my favorite day was when we saw Avenue Q and Spamalot all in one day. And the day we went to a manga store (yes. We found one.) and I bought much doujinshi and three Godchild manga. The trip was good, period and there was little fighting between my parents and I.

I'm gonna stop typing now and finish watching JCS.

Thu, 25 Jan 2007 18:20:59 GMT

Oh my god.

I don't have cancer.

I DON'T HAVE CANCER!!!!!

I took the final scan and the doctors said it came out clear. My parents said that we could go somewhere (ie, out of LA) to celebrate!

I was crying with happiness. I want to DANCE!

Sun, 07 Jan 2007 07:08:51 GMT

YAAAAAAY TOP HAT! Of course, I'll be in debt for the rest of my life because of it, but still. YAAAAAY TOP HAT!

Tue, 02 Jan 2007 05:05:18 GMT

Oh, christ. Sorry I haven't updated in so long. So many things going on.

For Christmas, or at least a semblance of it, we went to Florida where it was cold, wet, windy, and generally gross. When I went outside (almost never) we practically had to walk sideways. It was AWFUL. However, Christmas day was okay. We woke up early and my parents got me some gift cards and CDs, some clothes, and five manga books (Let Dai 2, Loveless 2, and 4, 5, and 6 of Ouran High School Host Club) even though my father absolutely loathes them because he thinks all mangas are gay- literally. Anyway, the crowning gift was an 80 GB iPod WOOYAY! Except I can only download about 1/3 of my music because my computer's a disgusting little hybrid cockroach worm baby. Nasty thing.

Since I had to spend the Christ-celebratory week with the evil side of my family- my father's side- I tried to avoid them as much as possible, only spending time with my non-senile, understanding uncle. He's gay, he's hiding it from the family (including me but he doesn't know that, obviously), and he's extremely Italian. Not such good things to be and do all at once but whatever. We played a lot of air hockey together. It was rawther fun. And since the rest of my family (mother and father's sides) both gave me lots of cash, we went on a shopping trip. I got several more mangas and Lullaby by Chuck Palahniuk. I also bought myself a pinstripe suit, some baggy pants, and two t-shirts. Uncle also got me two sets of footwear- a pair of slippers and these lovely skateboarding shoes that I'm wearing right now (so comfortable!) And tomorrow we're shopping MORE! Yay shopping week!

Last night- New Year's Eve- I stayed over at Seline's house. We watched the ball drop at Time's Square, set off fireworks, and did the famous Midnight Kiss. We did it very convincingly, apparently, because afterwards her parents wouldn't look at either of us straight in the eye. Bah! Homophobic crabs, the lot of them! By the way, my New Year's Resolutions were to:

1. Survive the new play I'm doing without my head exploding.
2. Sex up T.
3. Write the first gay epic.
4. Read The Picture of Dorian Gray without falling asleep.
5. Try to not get expelled (ie, do better with grades, don't hit people, etc.)
and 6. Discover thousands more new bands.

Today a bunch of my friends and I went to go see The Pursuit of Happyness. Which was so fucking depressing I could barely stand it but it had a smiley ending. We also rented Little Miss Sunshine, coached a man through getting a tattoo for the first time, and nearly got mauled by Evie's ex's mom (remember? bondage!time? We actually put the box on her door. Very amusing.) Good times, good times.

Sat, 02 Dec 2006 00:10:46 GMT

Yayyyyy! Merry Christmas, everyone! December 1st....24 more days till The Big One. And yes, it is capitalized because then I will go get to see my love. Very important.

I caaaaaan't waaaaait....hold on, why does it smell like syrup?

Give me love. I don't care what. Write something, draw something, post something. I'm lonely so I'm bitching at everyone. I'll give you.....euh.....pie!

Sun, 26 Nov 2006 05:32:39 GMT

Watching SNL right now. I love Hugh Laurie. He's the ultimate British geek-man. So cute! Heh.

Over Thanksgiving break I went to visit le grandparents and other relatives. Oh god, my thirteen year-old cousin was flirting with me. Scary. On the way back home we visited one of my old friends that moved to Oxford, Mississippi. It's a tiny town where you can walk everywhere and her friends are nice so I will excuse her from moving.

It was all Bondage!time with my friends and I when I got back today. Lovely- we went to a sex shop and got all this shit using my friend's licence. Rubbery condoms, cockrings, vibrators, dildos, the lot. We put it all in this big box and addressed it to Evie's ex's mom. Obviously, we didn't put it in the post....yeah.

I've been more worried more and more lately. I feel really gross. Please don't let me have cancer.

Sun, 19 Nov 2006 06:14:17 GMT

hotel

(a poem for me)

by s

she is a drug - addicting attitude
i'm a burnout
for life - like i've always needed her.
i probably should not doubt this.
because i love her - a sister without blood.
she is so brave. so proud.
her day:
waking up to hundreds of eyes - watching her.
singing under white-hot lights.
she is make-up and black and warm metal
and music.
music of the fizzy, acidic, toxic love that belongs to me.
belongs to me, but we love it together.
she is my partner in crime.
she is a plethora of mix cds.
she is my muse.
she is song and dance.
she is the devil's incarnate.
she is calming - the soothing voice
that puts my frantic mind to sleep
for now.
she is margaritas with orange Fanta
is laughter at my puckered lips
is disbelief in failure
wants me to sing and live
like her.

Wed, 08 Nov 2006 00:55:50 GMT

I'm throwing up blood.

Sat, 04 Nov 2006 06:13:10 GMT

Random Shit:

Damn I hate my grandparents.
I'm making voodoo dolls of Tyler, Seline, and Linda.
My ramen tastes fucked-up.
I love Invader Zim.
And Labyrinth.
And cabarets.

Mon, 30 Oct 2006 02:48:25 GMT

Aaah! I have a date with Tyler for Saturday!

Fri, 27 Oct 2006 21:15:44 GMT

Marc Bolan is quite......gorgeous (in my opinion.) (which matters because you're taking the time to read this and so.) (hah. you're still reading this. loser.)

I had a really weird dream last night. It involved T, Seline, Linda, and Evie. In a ghetto. By the beach. It was really freaky and kind of sad because we were all poor and I jumped in the ocean and there were reverse waves.

Yeah, I have nutjob dreams. Fucking deal.

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 00:22:01 GMT

ZOMGTHEBLACKPARADEWOWSOPRETTYSLASHY'GOINGTOHELL'NESS!!!!!11111

There, I got the teenie out of my system. But really, the CD is amazing. It's such a concept album, so pretty. I got it at Target for $10 and the artwork is awesome. It reminds me a little of some of Edward Gorey's artwork. I'm going to now judge/rate/comment on the songs.

The End- Very nice. It's like Gerard is talking to all of MCR's fans and like the preface to the album's story. A warning but also one last attempt to get out. 3

Dead- If this album really is a story, this is the main character's suicidal thoughts. He's thinking about death in general and what would happen. The guitar work is pretty good, but not my favorite song. 4

This Is How I Disappear- He's calling out to somebody he once loved, or maybe still does, to come and save him. He feels incomplete without them. I especially like the line "You wanna see how far down I can sink? Let me go!" 5

The Sharpest Lives- Maybe the main character feels like shit after he's heard he's going to die and gets all drunk. I love the opening. The singing is cool, especially the chorus. However, it gets monotonous, despite the smashing ending. 2

Welcome to the Black Parade- Ah, the infamous song. I can honestly say that I love this song. Most mainstream, popular songs are usually not my favorite but this is an amazing song. I love when it sounds like the entire band is singing- "Do or die" through "I don't care!" 5

I Don't Love You- Nice melody, nice (relatively) slow song. A begging song, one that the concertgoers will wave their cell phones to. Amazing guitars and vocals, soft one minute than screaming the next. 4

House of Wolves- BRILLIANT song. Like a prayer to God, except extremely unrepentant. It's like the character has accepted that he's going to hell and is just waiting for it. A song you want to swing dance to. 5

Cancer- It makes you want to cry- it got me at "if you could get me a drink of water because my lips are chapped and faded". Such a sad song. It will have your eyes watering and your heart hurting. Also, nice vocal effects. Gerard's voice sounds like it's coming through a tinny loudspeaker. The character's trying to separate from the people he loves so he won't be as hurt when he dies and is also accepting that he's never going to get to do the things he wants like getting married so he's asking his love to stay true to him. 5

Mama- Okay, I love this song. It's official. It has a very strange melody that will make you want to tap your feet and shake your shoulders- it's like he's telling his mother that he knows he's going to hell for something he's done (coughcoughincestcoughcough) and he doesn't care because it's not his fault and they're all gonna die and go to hell some day. 5

Sleep- It's okay. Very like many of MCR's other songs, with melting vocals and drawn-out words. Nice chorus and good ending. 3 and 1/2

Teenagers- This song made me laugh. The character's remembering his teenage years and what the authority did to him. It's basically just that, an anti-authority song from the point of view of both sides with revenge at the end. Reminds me of a country song, only not. Amazing vocals. 5

Disenchanted- Gerard's asking everyone why they care because when he goes everyone will forget what he's said. He's watching his life and thinking that it was all just shit because after he got through the hell of high school, he just got sick and spent the remainder of his life waiting for a spot at the hospital. A pretty good song that's just melancholy. 3

Famous Last Words- A pulse-pounding beat song. He's had sex with someone and is watching them. He knows they're just asleep but they look dead. He also now is not afraid of dying but he's telling death (or maybe fame?) it'll have to wait because he wants to go home.

Blood- He's gone insane. A hospital patient has gone insane and is telling people that he keeps on giving blood but it's never enough- I think he thinks that the hospital people drink it. Anyway, he's probably in a mental asylum and everyone loves him but he's sleeping with everyone so he doesn't understand it (he's supposedly an awful fuck). I think he's also talking about how since he's supposedly mad and lower class, people at the hospital just suck on you and your energy and treat you badly. It's MCR unedited and live-sounding. And totally hilarious, too. 6

Sat, 21 Oct 2006 08:45:05 GMT

I'm still alive, that's the important thing.

Opening night. Oh, boy. But who gives a fuck? It's like being one of the mindless ramblers: baby, nobody cares. Nobody comes, nobody listens. Careful now, you're moving into cliche territory. Hah! Contradiction. Too drugged up anyway. Emo kid, goth kid, preppy kid, stoner kid. It's all the same. We're all still polluted and flesh and blood. Gay, straight, high class, lower class. We all fuck. Who knows? Do we? Certainly not I. Compulsion for half-sentences, for grammatical correctness. See above. Contradiction.

Had to get it out, darling.

I feel like a drag queen. It's a happy feeling, kind of like being squished between two giant pieces of toast. Very warm and surrounding.

Mon, 16 Oct 2006 22:19:25 GMT

Oh Jesuuuuus, ewwww.

A;alsdjf;lajerAlfred/Brucea;dlsfkjjelr;......blachblachblach.

But Crane/Wayne. Oh, yum.

As you might have guessed, I'm watching Batman Begins. Cillian Murphy is so beautiful and pretty it's painful. And the slash between the two is magnetic.

I saw my shrink today. He was shocked about what I told him (everything) and who was telling me certain things about myself (everyone.)

Tue, 10 Oct 2006 02:32:57 GMT

Aw, man. Things were really awkward between me & Tyler at rehearsal today. It just sucked.... I don't know why. But I learned my song and some dances to some extent. And I finished my beautiful drawings. One was of Gerard and Mikey (oh, the glory) and one was of Jonathan and Bruce and Joker....doing things. Do I really have to say more? I didn't think so. They were both in charcoal and I <3 them.

Whatever. My heart kind of hurts.

Wed, 04 Oct 2006 22:21:34 GMT

It's maybe Mabry, uglyskinnygirl. Maybe she's here, maybe she's living. Does she breathe? Stare. Watch as she falls, dies, lies. How she lies. Lies to her friends, to the teachers, to the devil. Caught like a fly in a web. Struggling, sticky. Oh it's lovely. Lovely like tin on your mouth cutting through. Imagination. Poor maybe Mabry, too ugly and skinny so she's stopped caring. Circus tents on her head. So confused and pissed off. Feeling in your stomach bubbles, grows bigger, higher, more nervous. Stare.

Tue, 03 Oct 2006 16:28:36 GMT

My so-called "best friend" (no, not Sarah) is pissing me off.
Cheer me up somehow.

Mon, 25 Sep 2006 23:21:44 GMT

THIS IS URGENT, TO ALL OF MY FRIENDS!

One of my best friends, Sarah, has diabetes and just called me. She's really depressed, to the point of self-harm, and she keeps everything inside and it finally bust this afternoon. She had a breakdown. She can't talk to her parents and she's scared about her future (she could become blind in a year) and angry that she has to spend the rest of her life shooting insulin and being protected. And I'm scared that she might do something. I'm in love with this girl, people. And she's beautiful and scared and delicate.

So, I beg you: comment to this and give me something to tell her. Give her a message. Only please, don't say something like "hope you get better", "they'll find a cure", "sorry you're sick". That'll make it worse. Just give her a message, any message of love and support. For me. For her. I'm afraid she'll do something.